Welcome to the Rhythm of the Night
by 1000th Ghost
Summary: Ralph may be treated nicer now, but it was still the good guy who ended up with a girl. Vanellope is out to prove that a bad guy can have a wife too. VanellopexRalph


**Welcome to the Rhythm of the Night**

**By: 1000th Ghost**

*This story is dedicated to my 8-year-old sister, Trisha, for shipping VanellopexRalph and giving me this huge speech about how she didn't care about the age difference, lol :P *

_"It's just a matter of time_

_Before we learn how to fly._

_Welcome to the rhythm of the night._

_There's something in the air you can't deny."_

_-__Wreck-It Ralph__ ("When Can I See You Again?")_

"Wheee, that was fun!" Vanellope squealed as she burst through the front door of her castle and collapsed onto a sofa.

"Yeah. Fun," Ralph mumbled, closing the door (breaking one of the hinges in the process) and coming to sit beside her. The sofa tipped under his weight, and she giggled and turned upside down with her legs dangling over the back.

"Well, that sounded about as enthusiastic as I do when I agree to wash my hair. You didn't like the party?"

"No, no, it was great," he groaned, throwing a massive hand in the air. "Felix and Calhoun are great hosts, and they threw a great party. Because Felix is great, so he found a great girl."

Vanellope blinked. "You're jealous? You like _Calhoun_?!"

"No!"

"Yikes, thank goodness," she joked, giggling again.

"It's just...I know I'm bad, and that's good and all that-"

"-and everyone's nice to us now, Ralph!"

"Yeah, yeah, I know! But still...the good guy is the one who got a girl. Just like it should be, I guess."

"Hmm..." She scrunched her nose in thought. "What about Catwoman? She got Batman, and she's pretty bad!"

"They're programmed to be together. It's part of the game, it's in their code, it's different."

"How about-"

"Face it, kid," he interrupted, "the good guy ends up with the girl with the exaggeratedly perfect body, and the bad guy gets stuck with-" He glanced at he. "-with a twerp."

She put her hands on her hips and smirked, which looked rather ridiculous in her upside-down position. "I can't be that awful. You can't seem to get enough of me."

"Yeah, well..." He never was great with words. "Guess my least favorite part of the day _is_ right before the arcade opens when I have to leave you."

"Which would be now. Get to work, you slacker!"

He picked her up by one leg and held her in front of his face. "You're impossible. When can I see you again?"

And then she grabbed both sides of his face and crashed her lips to his. And then it was over, and she was laughing like crazy.

"Whenever you want, Stinkbrain!" She was still laughing so hard she could barely breathe. "_I'm _the 'girl you got stuck with'. Good grief."

"See ya, Señorita Slob," he said with a roll of his eyes before flipping her onto the sofa and bowing out the door.

* * *

He seemed to wreck the building with more ferocity than usual, which was strange since he was putting almost no mental concentration into it whatsoever.

Stupid kid. It really wasn't fair that the good guy got a wife, and the bad guy got a child sidekick.

Who had kissed him.

A joke, of course, because a kid would think nothing of it. Neither should he.

He saw her win a race as the Nicelanders threw him off the roof, and on the way down, he either hated or was confused by or immensely enjoyed the pinpricks of excitement and heat that crept over him.

_"You can't seem to get enough of me."_

What kind of a man was he that he spent every moment not at work with a pintsized brat?

...a bad guy. That's who.

He smiled wickedly before crashing into the mud.

* * *

"RALPHIE! Ralph, Ralph, Ralph, Ralph, Ralph!"

He put his hands over his ears. "Think you could tone down the volume about ten notches?"

"But I've got a surprise!" She took his huge fingertip in both of her hands and tugged him farther into the castle. "Come on, come on!"

There in the grand hall was a black tuxedo jacket and what looked like strips of toilet paper glued to a headband.

"See, now we can get married! And you won't have to be sad about not having a wife!"

He had to smile. "Very cute, kid. Where'd you get the jacket?"

"It's your best man jacket from Felix's wedding. Remember, you slept over here that night and left it here."

"O-oh, yeah." He had gotten into the habit of sleeping in the castle, hadn't he? Sometimes on a sofa with a proper pillow and blanket that she provided, but more often they both ended up asleep on the kitchen floor or on the balcony or somewhere outside.

"Well, what are you waiting for, put it on!" she said impatiently.

"You want to play wedding, huh?" Well, ninety percent of his free time now consisted of whatever game this little girl wanted to play, so what of it?

"Not _play_, Ralph!" she groaned. "We can say that this counts for real, and then you will have ended up with a girl, just like a good guy would."

"Yeah, sure."

Then again...yeah...sure.

He shoved his arms into the sleeves with maybe too much eagerness, and she put the makeshift veil on her head.

"Okay, now, you go stand over there," she instructed, gesturing to the other side of the long room. "And then I'll walk to you."

"...but you're already here."

"Just _do it_!" she sighed. "Geez, don't you remember _anything_ from Felix's and Calhoun's wedding?"

"The food!" he told her, running down the room, the floor rumbling under him as he went.

"Dum, dum, da-dum!" she sang and then said, "Ralph, it's the bride song, you have to sing along!"

"Uh...here comes the bride, smells like she died, hope that this song makes her satisfied!"

She was doubled over in laughter when she got to him. "Best...song...ever!"

"Now we're married?"

"No, no, first you have to look deep into my eyes and say something...deep."

"The ocean," he said very sincerely.

"Hmm, that is pretty deep. My turn...um...a bottomless pit."

"And now we're married?" He wasn't sure staring "deep" into her eyes for this long was doing the best things to his mind.

"Yeah, we just have to kiss."

"Gah - com'ere, you," he growled, grabbing the incorrigible girl and forcing their lips together with such strength that she would have fallen over had he not been holding her.

"Yay!" she cried when he released her, and she scampered away and then spoke, "Food time!"

He followed her slowly to the dining room, wondering vaguely if he should follow through with his feelings, deciding that he should, and then wondering if it was impossible.

"_Whoa_!" he exclaimed when he entered the elaborately decorated, enormous room which prominently featured a lengthy table with a smorgasbord of possibly every type of sweet on it. "Did you do all this?!"

"If by 'do all this' you mean 'push a button that gave me a feast', then, yes, and you're welcome!"

"We're going to get a thousand cavities," he complained good-naturedly, and she replied, "_Mmm..._" and licked her lips, and now he wondered if she was teasing him.

She sat down at the head of the table in some fancy chair that appropriately resembled a throne, and he took the chair to her right.

She pulled two sinful looking sundaes in front of them and proclaimed, "Dig in!" with a huge grin before shoveling in a heaping mouthful.

"You-you've got some chocolate sauce..." He trailed a finger down from the corner of his mouth and then paused and then leaned forward and slowly licked the mess off, ending at her lips. "I love chocolate now."

Her expression was unreadable when he finished - maybe a smirk, maybe a genuine smile, maybe something else.

"Hmm."

What revealing conversation she provided him with.

"Is this just hopeless?" he asked. "Or can you feel it too?"

"Mmm-hmm." This time her expression was definitely something else.

"Bah. You're, what, ten?"

"Nine."

"_Great._"

"Twelve."

"What?"

"I'm not sure what age I'm programmed to be. My game is fifteen."

"Doesn't help. My game's thirty."

"Hey, Taffyta wears mascara. I must have some grownup stuff in me _somewhere_."

"If I thought I had a prayer of finding it, I'd try."

She picked up a bonbon, brought it to her opened mouth, thought better of it, and gestured for him to come closer. He complied, and she placed it on his tongue, and he sucked her finger slightly before letting go.

"I want half."

She had to fully stand up on the table to reach him, and when she kissed him, it was blatantly obvious what she had in mind, and he opened his mouth to her. There was less eating and more tongues and sucking, and she might have moaned, but he wasn't going to get his hopes too high just yet.

"Thanks. It was delicious," she said with a triumphant gloat when the remains of the sweet were gone.

"So, you're an ageless kid, and I'm a thirty-year-old-"

"-hobo?"

"_Wrecker_."

She shrugged.

"I love you, Vanellope."

"Of course, you do. I love you too, Stinkbrain."

"Of course, you do." His brow furrowed. "But you don't know what to do about it."

She scoffed and crossed her arms. "I think you give me far less credit than I deserve."

"Oh, yeah, I forgot, because there's _so much_ romance in Sugar Rush."

"Didn't all this start with some big speech about how bad guys didn't get girls?" she teased. "Are you now telling me that you're so very knowledgeable in the subject?"

Now he scoffed. "I'm thirty, kid. I don't need any firsthand experience to tell me what I'm missing."

"Fifteen. I know what you're missing."

He smiled at her in a way that could best be described as smoldering. "If you had any idea, you'd be terrified and wouldn't be here."

With one deft motion, she leaned forward and unlatched his functional overall strap. Then sat back and just stared with a look that screamed, "Oh, really?"

"_Vanellope..._" he breathed, coming towards her.

"If you honestly think you're the only one here who's about ready to jump on the other, you're an even bigger moron than I thought."

"Can't deny it, can you?"

She shook her head. "It's in the air, I'm pretty sure."

He leaned back in his chair and opened his arms in a shrug. "I've got my doubts, kid, but, hey, you're welcome to give it a shot."

She looked at him disbelievingly. "You better not think this is going to be one-sided."

"Oh?"

"Hey." She stepped off the table and into his lap, kneeling with her hands on his thighs. "I want you too." Her hands crept higher.

"_Why?_" he moaned, eyes closed, torn between knowing he didn't deserve her and knowing he didn't want her to stop.

"Because." Her hands were fully on him now, stroking him through the fabric. "You're the only one who liked me when I was just a glitch."

"Huh. Yeah." He was silent for several minutes, too completely absorbed in what she was doing. Then, with almost a reverent sigh, "And you're the only one who liked me when I was just a bad guy."

"Sure. Who doesn't love a hobo with freakishly big hands?"

"Who doesn't love a brat with dirty hair?" What had he done to deserve her? Well, she certainly deserved him, if that was what she wanted. He tugged her hoodie over her head, only slightly setting her ponytail askew, though the veil and several candies clattered to the floor.

She deserved this more than he did. She essentially saved him.

"_You're my hero_," she murmured as he brought his mouth to her unformed breasts.

He had saved her too.

If anyone had told him that the hungry moans of a little girl would drive him almost to the edge of insanity, he would have thought the _notion_ insane. But this was not any little girl, or any woman, for that matter. This was his Vanellope, his joined-at-the-hip sidekick who needed him, and if he was honest, he had been waiting to do this to her, for her, with her for far longer than the past few days.

"_Ralph..._" she groaned, her tiny hands grabbing fistfuls of his hair. She was squirming in an unconsciously erotic way on his arousal, and they had waited for this long enough.

He stopped his ministrations and placed her back on the table and stood up. His overalls, held in place by nothing, dropped immediately to the floor. She smiled and took the hint at once, and they both stripped of their remaining clothes, never taking their eyes off of each other.

Neither of them was the stereotype of beauty, but he viewed her with something like awe, and she looked intimidated and terribly excited.

"Why have I never seen your muscles before?" she questioned.

He chuckled gently. "You never asked to."

"Are you going to wreck me?"

"I'll certainly try not to."

"Ralph, that was a euphemism," she said in minor annoyance. "I want you to wreck me."

He smirked. "You're pretty forward for a kid, you know."

Before she had the chance to produce a smart-alecky reply, his lips were pushed on hers. She fell backwards and laughed.

"So...how does this work?" he asked her collapsed form. "I'm so big. You're so little."

"Thank you, Captain Obvious!" Then, completely serious (something that he only rarely saw from her), "I'm not scared, Ralph. I trust you. Just do it."

It hurt. There was no getting around it, it hurt. But he was as tender as was possible, given his size and violent tendencies. He had laid her on the carpet under the table, and with every thrust, the table moved, and pieces of cakes and cookies and candy fell around them like a waterfall. He knew that he was hurting her and continually placed kisses all over her mouth and eyes and nose and told her that he would stop the second she told him too, but she shook her head defiantly with a, "No. Keep going."

"_Vanellope_." He could hardly think enough through the haze to form words. "This is...the best thing that's ever happened to me. But what I want even more is to _watch you lose control_."

She glitched.

It wasn't what he had been talking about at all, but suddenly her face broke out in an ecstatic grin.

"It doesn't hurt anymore! I glitched you to fit or something!"

He wanted to shake his head in relieved disbelief and say something like, "Is there anything your glitch _can't_ do?" but found he could do nothing except pound into her harder, knowing she could take it now.

"_Ralph...!_" It was long and drawn out, and she tipped her head back and gripped his enormous biceps with a crushing grip.

He was so close, but not yet, he needed to see her come first, and just a matter of seconds later she glitched and glitched and continued to glitch, and then he was glitching too, and they were a mass of indistinguishable colors and codes and electricity.

He loomed over her, panting, making sure not to put too much pressure on her, and waited until their separate pixels had untangled. When he removed himself from her, there was a spark of leftover energy, and he gasped and brought her to his chest.

They lay there like that, her little arms around his neck, and tried to resume a breathing pattern that could resemble normalcy.

"You're absolutely obsessed with me, aren't you?" she accused.

"Am I that easy to see through?"

She giggled. "Like wax paper."

He stared at her in all sincerity, a longing verging on desperation in his eyes. "When can we do this again?"

**The End**


End file.
